Decide when and how to use devices
The following guide can help your family have more thoughtful conversations about technology, and identify moments to disconnect and prioritise quality time together.
Discussion points
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Does technology ever prevent you from being present?
To begin, talk about how devices can sometimes cause people to miss out on things that matter to them. Touch on times when you weren’t fully 'there' for a particular moment because you were on your phone, and ask your children if they’ve observed others (like friends or family) not being fully present with the people around them.
Have your children also experienced a time when they were distracted from an important moment because of technology? How did they feel about it afterwards? Were they on a particular app or game when it happened, and have they noticed a pattern in their own activity?
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Find times and places to focus.
What are the times and places that your family feel are important to be focused? Is it during homework? While spending time with each other? Talk about how to approach technology during these times when you want to keep your attention on a task.
Reflect on what balance feels like, not only for your children, but for the whole family. Then look to apply that concept to times and places throughout their day.
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Reflect on ways to move forward.
Based on what you’ve discussed so far, what changes would create more balance for your family? Are any current boundaries working or not working? Are there moments in the day – like meal times – when the family would like to turn off their devices altogether?
Things to keep in mind
Work together.
Involve your children to help them feel a part of the decision-making process.
Reflect on your use.
Understanding your habits is the first step to making changes that can model positive behaviours.
Give them the tools.
Focus on helping your children self-regulate so that they learn how to make good decisions on their own.
Jason Brand, LCSW“Children don’t have the big-picture perspective that parents have, so we need to help them cultivate their own sense of self-regulation.”
Try it at home
Family-time box
Along with your children, pick a room and times that you’ve all decided are going to be 'device free'. Then create a device storage box and have some fun decorating it! As you’re making the box, talk about where it will go, when it will be used and why.
